Entries Tagged 'Brit Brit' ↓

After Britney Spears lost her visitation rights, Kevin’s attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan spoke to Extra saying that she will get time with her boo boo’s in the near future. Kaplan told Extra that Britney’s visits, “will be reinstated fairly soon, probably by the next scheduled date.”

The next date is October 26. Kaplan is planning to listen to various court appointed experts at that hearing that have looked at the quality of the parenting and have observed the custody situation. Kaplan went on to voice Federline’s frustration saying, “it’s frustrating the time it takes to move forward…there’s an evaluation in place, and those take a long time. They take four to six months.”

He also mentioned that both Britney and Kevin want the proceedings to be finished as soon as possible and that Kevin wants Britney to be in the kid’s lives. “He wants the kids to be structured, to be in a structured environment, regardless of the home that they’re in. That’s why he brought the action that he did.”

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Don’t worry. If you were thinking it was her foot, you’re wrong. Britney didn’t hurt herself, she just hurt other people. In this case, the other person was one of the paparazzi. I bet he won’t be hobbling in to buy her Starbucks, Justin Timberlake CDs, or her gas anymore!

According to People Magazine:

“Spears, 25, driving her white Mercedes convertible, slowly exits the garage while a mob of paparazzi begin taking photos. Bulbs flashing, a man in a camouflage jacket is seen falling to the ground near her front left tire while apparently shouting in pain. Another photographer – “Michael” who works for the Web site Celebrity Babylon – told ABC7 that he witnessed the unnamed man’s foot get run over.”

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Russell Crowe has been talking to Extra lately and apparently he feels the need to enable Britney and her insane behavior. Rather than calling her out for being a cracked out skank with mixed up priorities (that was me being nice, ya’ll), he is blaming the paparazzi for being mean evil monsters.

For real Crowe, who do you think is pumping that bitches gas and running her errands? We all know she’s normally too drunk to stand…Just look at how she drives?

Crowe says the paparazzi are to blame. I can see where he would get that. The paparazzi shaved her head. They made her miss parenting classes and drug tests. They plowed her with vodka and kept convincing her to show her vagina. Hey! Maybe they even lifted her skirt to make sure her vagina got the right light in the camera! They really are bastards!

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Britney really does try so hard. It’s awful that anyone would even think that it was acceptable to make fun of her. So she gets drunk. Who cares that she shaved her head? Is it your business that she loves Starbucks more than Charlie Sheen loves hookers? No, it’s not. Britney has gotten a bad rap. She’s young (practically a two year old), and has had a rough life (since she started changing her clothes a lot), so it’s not right to judge.

OK Magazine has some insiders that are spilling the beans about how sad Britney’s story really is. She’s a good mom who loves her babies. It’s just that she doesn’t know how to take care of them. She’s trying though ya’ll so you need to support her.

OK Says:
“No one has ever trained her or shown her how to look after her boys,” one Britney insider reveals in the next issue of OK! “She really wants to learn, and she’s going to try really hard. She’s been taking parenting classes and taking them very seriously.”

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Keane is an English band that is not ashamed to offer writing skills to the elite pop crew in the States. They have schlepped out songs to Gwen Stefani and The Pussycat Dolls, but there is a prerequisite to someone taking their work and paying them for it. The person buying the song has to have talent.

As you can imagine, when Britney came knocking at their door they bolted that sucker as quickly as they could. No sense in telling the crackling pop hag that she doesn’t have what it takes to win their music.

The best part of this is that Keane refused to write a song for Britney because retaining their dignity was more important than taking her money.

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Britney promised to be at her latest dance auditions, but sadly she was a no-show. This was to be expected, but even with her missing the crowd filed in and showed their very best dance moves. Man, these guys were so good that Britney is going to be glad that she’s single! I think she will especially like the guy who is able to lift his leg over his head. You know what they say about those guys who are limber…

TMZ had a chance to film the very best of the best when it came to bumping and grinding. Of course, with this group it was more jiggling and offbeat flailing, but hey…you gotta take what you can get. Rome wasn’t built in a day and Britney’s career won’t be either. Hell, who am I kidding? Noah could show up on his arc, take us all for a trip around the world…twice, and when we got back this bitch still wouldn’t be ready to get back on a stage.

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Its official, Britney Spears has been booked over three weeks after she was charged with two misdemeanors dealing with an August hit and run accident. Spears headed into the Van Nuys LA police station at close to 9:30 PM on Monday night to face the music and handle her business.

Sgt. Lopez told Us Magazine the process for what would happen when a booking comes in:

“She comes in and we put her information into computer, fingerprint her, lifescan and electronically scan hands and palms as well, and photograph her. She will be issued a release from custody citation, which tells her next court appearance.”

And what if Britney shows up in one of her famous wigs? “If a person is wearing a wig and it looks like she is trying to disguise herself we would ask her to take it off,” Lopez says. “But we will not ask people to remove extensions.”

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Britney shaved her head, hung out with nasty magicians, and appeared to be on crack…or something like it. Everyone thought (or still thinks) that she has lost her mind. So, naturally when the decision was made to give her monitored visitation we were all expecting the worst.

However, Britney dun fooled us Ya’ll! According to the court appointed parenting monitor Britney is normal. I wonder how much the monitor was paid to say that. Look in the plant! It’s the other place she keeps her vodka.

Seriously though, according to the monitor there was only one thing that seemed odd about Britney. The monitor mentioned that Britney goes to her room to change her clothes a lot. KFeds attorney is not phased by any of this. There are reports that he is more interested in her mental health and less interested in weird behaviors that could be the cause of drugs.

[tags]Britney Spears, Wardrobe Change, KFed, Court Monitor, Kids, Vodka, Court Appointed[/tags]

Every loser hoping to be Brit’s new baby daddy should show up today at the Millennium Dance Studio from 5 to 9 PM. Your only prerequisite is that you have to dance as good, or better, than KFed. If you don’t please bring some Starbucks and Vodka as that will distract Britney enough to see you in a new light. If you can’t afford Starbucks buy a 99 cent bag of Cheetos and tape them to your body to entice the fizzled out poptart.

Britney is hosting an open casting call for new dancers for her team. Anyone can show up to audition from 5 to 9 at the Millennium Dance Studio. According to TMZ, Brit’s camp will be taping the auditions so that Britney can watch the dancers more than once.

If you are going in hopes of seeing Britney do not get your hopes too high. Britney was supposed to be at two of her previous dance calls, but never showed.

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While I normally write multiple stories, I’m suffering from a severe pulled muscle in my shoulder, making it near impossible to type for long periods of time. Not wanting to disappoint Gossip Giant fans, I’ve compiled a list of some of the best gossip on the web, so you won’t have withdraws during my (hopefully) speedy recovery.

John Graziano Update: Court Nurse Gives Grim Prediction for Graziano’s Future

A Court Appointed Nurse has made a statement on the condition of John Graziano. As reported previously, Graziano was the passenger in Nick Bollea’s car when the two crashed during a high speed race. To find out what the nurse said, in unsealed court documents, check out the full story at Hotarazzi.

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I know people pick on Britney Spears and it’s not fair. I have heard such excuses as, “She’s just a baby herself” and “She had the babies so close together that it messed her up.” However, there is absolutely no way that anyone could be this stupid and have a logical excuse for it. I’d say she’s dumber than Paris, but I wouldn’t want to flatter Hilton into thinking we thought she had half a brain.

The latest Brit Brit news is how she flubbed up her first visit with her babies. She didn’t make it because…the intercom was broken and she didn’t know the kids were waiting outside. Yeah, right. I find that hard to believe, but that’s what the sad excuse for a mother has to say about missing her kids, this time.

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If you’re interested in seeing Britney’s ass (okay, I know you’ve seen it…so have I) here’s your chance. The Gimme More video was finally released and has ended up on the Internet. Youtube has removed the copy that was available there, but after a little hunting I found a suitable and legit copy of Britney reliving her days as a stripper. Oh wait, maybe that pole was to ensure she doesn’t fall down on her fat ass. Continue reading →

Sarah Silverman spoke to USA Today recently. During the interview, she spoke about various celebrities including Paris Hilton, David Letterman, Britney Spears, and Angelina Jolie.

She said that Paris handled herself well under the circumstances, which was nice considering past comments the hilarious comedian has made about Hilton. However, on Dave she said, “I love Dave. The old Letterman was back a little bit,” she says. “He was being a hilarious pain. I thought it was like old, classic Dave.”

On Spears and the VMA comments about Britney’s kids (who she no longer has custody of):

“My instinct is to answer honestly. People keep saying I’m still talking about it, but I’m not the one bringing it up. I’m over it. I loved the jokes.”

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For months, it has been no surprise that Britney was going to lose her kids. Now that she has, she isn’t even smart enough to pretend she wants them back. According to rumors, she was planning to appear in court and get her babies back. Well, she decided not to show up in court and Kevin did. The judge decided to allow Federline to keep custody for now and rather than giving Britney 50% custody, the judge ordered monitored visitation rights. At this point one has to wonder if the crazy bitch will even show up for her visits.

I can just see it now!

“Ooops, I’m sorry ya’ll. I dun forgot it was visitin’ time. I was at Starbucks with pookie. Ya’ll want some of mommy’s latte?”

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