Entries Tagged 'Celebuskanks' ↓

Don’t worry. If you were thinking it was her foot, you’re wrong. Britney didn’t hurt herself, she just hurt other people. In this case, the other person was one of the paparazzi. I bet he won’t be hobbling in to buy her Starbucks, Justin Timberlake CDs, or her gas anymore!

According to People Magazine:

“Spears, 25, driving her white Mercedes convertible, slowly exits the garage while a mob of paparazzi begin taking photos. Bulbs flashing, a man in a camouflage jacket is seen falling to the ground near her front left tire while apparently shouting in pain. Another photographer – “Michael” who works for the Web site Celebrity Babylon – told ABC7 that he witnessed the unnamed man’s foot get run over.”

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Russell Crowe has been talking to Extra lately and apparently he feels the need to enable Britney and her insane behavior. Rather than calling her out for being a cracked out skank with mixed up priorities (that was me being nice, ya’ll), he is blaming the paparazzi for being mean evil monsters.

For real Crowe, who do you think is pumping that bitches gas and running her errands? We all know she’s normally too drunk to stand…Just look at how she drives?

Crowe says the paparazzi are to blame. I can see where he would get that. The paparazzi shaved her head. They made her miss parenting classes and drug tests. They plowed her with vodka and kept convincing her to show her vagina. Hey! Maybe they even lifted her skirt to make sure her vagina got the right light in the camera! They really are bastards!

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Lindsay Lohan is known for plenty of things. She used to be hot, was decent when it came to acting, liked to do cocaine, is a drunk, and the list could go on and on. One of the more recent things she is being known for is her ability to continually steal other women’s men. Apparently, the new boyfriend had a fiancé prior to this whole, dating Lindsay thing.

Us Reports:
Until recently, he was engaged to Murray, Utah, resident Bree Tierney. “Riley just stopped calling Bree and never told her about Lindsay,” Bree’s mom, Tess, tells Us. “She found out by seeing photos. It destroyed her.”

Seconds a source, “Lindsay may be in danger with Riley.” The concerns may be warranted: Giles escorted Lohan to the Hotel Bar & Nightclub in Salt Lake City on October 5 — the same day she checked out of rehab.

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Keane is an English band that is not ashamed to offer writing skills to the elite pop crew in the States. They have schlepped out songs to Gwen Stefani and The Pussycat Dolls, but there is a prerequisite to someone taking their work and paying them for it. The person buying the song has to have talent.

As you can imagine, when Britney came knocking at their door they bolted that sucker as quickly as they could. No sense in telling the crackling pop hag that she doesn’t have what it takes to win their music.

The best part of this is that Keane refused to write a song for Britney because retaining their dignity was more important than taking her money.

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“Hi Mr. Rwandan, are you hungry? Me, too. Please ignore me while I pull out this Twix and eat it in front of you. If you want to get in that line over there, I am sure someone more qualified than me will feed and water you. It’s time for me to pose for Hershey!”

While it’s true that she hasn’t said the above statement yet, it’s possible that it’s only because she hasn’t been to Rwanda yet. She’s going though. If we are lucky her luggage and body will get lost on the trip and the world with Paris as we know it will become a better place, because she will be gone.

Newsweek did a story on Paris and all the good the…Hilton (as I now refuse to call her anything that resembles a celebrity) is planning to do for the world thanks to her popularity.

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There really should be a rule that if you’re going to go to rehab for two months that you have to try and at least spend…two weeks sober. Unfortunately, when it’s Friday night on the outside and you’re in Utah what else are you gonna do than get blitzing drunk at the nearest bar?

If you’re from Utah you might have other alternatives, but apparently Lindsay Lohan couldn’t think of anything better to do.

E! News Says:

“According to some Utah locals, Lindsay was spotted at a Park City club Friday night. And despite her two-month stint in rehab, our bar witness thought Linds looked less than refreshed.”

This is nice speak for “the bitch was drunk off her…socks”…Yeah…that’s it.

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Considering anyone normal would only want to be Paris for Halloween now is your chance. A website, DressupAmerica.com is selling Paris Hilton costumes and they are smoking hot. The best thing of all is that these costumes are the real deal. As you can see from the picture they offer you the best of Paris wear from the comforting memories of her jailbird collection.

The costume is not only affordable it comes with a long blonde wig. The sad thing is that the wig isn’t al high quality one, so your head might really make you look like you’re Britney Spears. Either way, you will be hot this Halloween whether you are Britney or Paris. You will be looking self-absorbed and ready for parole in no time.

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Britney shaved her head, hung out with nasty magicians, and appeared to be on crack…or something like it. Everyone thought (or still thinks) that she has lost her mind. So, naturally when the decision was made to give her monitored visitation we were all expecting the worst.

However, Britney dun fooled us Ya’ll! According to the court appointed parenting monitor Britney is normal. I wonder how much the monitor was paid to say that. Look in the plant! It’s the other place she keeps her vodka.

Seriously though, according to the monitor there was only one thing that seemed odd about Britney. The monitor mentioned that Britney goes to her room to change her clothes a lot. KFeds attorney is not phased by any of this. There are reports that he is more interested in her mental health and less interested in weird behaviors that could be the cause of drugs.

[tags]Britney Spears, Wardrobe Change, KFed, Court Monitor, Kids, Vodka, Court Appointed[/tags]

You may not recognize the name Tara Reid. She’s a party girl (or was) who acted (poorly) in a couple of movies. Someone told her she was a celebrity, but the rest of the world hasn’t quite caught on to that memo. She’s ready to make a comeback though and she’s doing it by trashing fellow celebs who have tried to follow in her footsteps by offering Hollywood little (other than gossip) and expecting much love and adoration in return.

Reid spoke to FHM Online and had tons to say.

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Every loser hoping to be Brit’s new baby daddy should show up today at the Millennium Dance Studio from 5 to 9 PM. Your only prerequisite is that you have to dance as good, or better, than KFed. If you don’t please bring some Starbucks and Vodka as that will distract Britney enough to see you in a new light. If you can’t afford Starbucks buy a 99 cent bag of Cheetos and tape them to your body to entice the fizzled out poptart.

Britney is hosting an open casting call for new dancers for her team. Anyone can show up to audition from 5 to 9 at the Millennium Dance Studio. According to TMZ, Brit’s camp will be taping the auditions so that Britney can watch the dancers more than once.

If you are going in hopes of seeing Britney do not get your hopes too high. Britney was supposed to be at two of her previous dance calls, but never showed.

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While I normally write multiple stories, I’m suffering from a severe pulled muscle in my shoulder, making it near impossible to type for long periods of time. Not wanting to disappoint Gossip Giant fans, I’ve compiled a list of some of the best gossip on the web, so you won’t have withdraws during my (hopefully) speedy recovery.

John Graziano Update: Court Nurse Gives Grim Prediction for Graziano’s Future

A Court Appointed Nurse has made a statement on the condition of John Graziano. As reported previously, Graziano was the passenger in Nick Bollea’s car when the two crashed during a high speed race. To find out what the nurse said, in unsealed court documents, check out the full story at Hotarazzi.

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Her people might have been saying that she wasn’t leaving rehab and that her little vacation was just a vacation with Daddy, but apparently there was little truth to those words. According to People Magazine sources, Lindsay is finished with rehab and won’t be coming back unless it’s for outpatient treatment. They even claim she’s going to be in a new movie…a tango movie at that!

“She’s finished the program,” one source says. “Lindsay is done, but she may come back for outpatient treatment. She over-extended her stay because she wanted to. She could have been out awhile ago, but she chose to stay.”

Lohan is already gearing up for her return to work: A source says she has plans to start filming her tango-themed movie, “Dare to Love Me”, in Los Angeles on Oct. 15. Plus, says the source, despite reports suggesting Lindsay is an insurance liability for film studios, Lohan has been insured for this film.

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I know people pick on Britney Spears and it’s not fair. I have heard such excuses as, “She’s just a baby herself” and “She had the babies so close together that it messed her up.” However, there is absolutely no way that anyone could be this stupid and have a logical excuse for it. I’d say she’s dumber than Paris, but I wouldn’t want to flatter Hilton into thinking we thought she had half a brain.

The latest Brit Brit news is how she flubbed up her first visit with her babies. She didn’t make it because…the intercom was broken and she didn’t know the kids were waiting outside. Yeah, right. I find that hard to believe, but that’s what the sad excuse for a mother has to say about missing her kids, this time.

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If you’re interested in seeing Britney’s ass (okay, I know you’ve seen it…so have I) here’s your chance. The Gimme More video was finally released and has ended up on the Internet. Youtube has removed the copy that was available there, but after a little hunting I found a suitable and legit copy of Britney reliving her days as a stripper. Oh wait, maybe that pole was to ensure she doesn’t fall down on her fat ass. Continue reading →