Entries Tagged 'celebutantes' ↓

Paris was in Russia recently. She does so many stupid things that it’s almost like I don’t need to go on. However, as much as I hate to talk about her, there is this little special place within me that finds it to be a guilty pleasure. While Paris was in Russia she came across some little people that were dressed as Smurfs for a promotional event.

Paris went on to tell her friend that she loved Smurfs and wanted to add them to her collection. It just goes to show that the South Park episode where Paris wants to adopt Butters and put him in a bear suit wasn’t too far off. It’s a good thing that she didn’t take them home, there would have been a mass suicide of the little people that she caught.

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I keep asking myself what the explanation for this is. Is she drunk, stupid, or just didn’t realize she has teeth to watch out for when she puts on her makeup? In truth, I don’t really care. The color almost makes her look good. Alright, it doesn’t make her look good at all, but it gives me a reason to look at her because I honestly don’t bother when she thinks she looks normal.

This little makeup mishap occurred at JJ Mahoney’s during Paris’ trip to Seoul. It’s really too bad. I mean look at how excited she is and the dumb bitch doesn’t even realize she’s sporting too much lipstick in the wrong spot. Of course, she could look at that bright side. If Revlon ever creates some Fire and Ice lipstick that is so fool proof any idiot can put it on correctly, she will surely get the endorsement deal. What’s even better? She saw plenty of people and none of them told her about her funked up teeth.

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The big day is coming for Nicole Richie. On November 18, 2007 the once coked out, anorexic celebrity will be having her baby shower. The paparazzi will be sure to attend due to a list of celebrities that are planning to be at the party. The celebrities planning to show up include Mischa Barton, Audrina Partridge, Lindsay Lohan, and of course, Paris Hilton. The baby shower is certain to be one that offers plenty of celebrity news and, hopefully in this case, all of it will be good.

When it comes to the menu, there are more details being offered up for this grand affair. Apparently, the menu is set to feature all of Nicole’s favorite foods. If you’re wondering what made the list we have listed some of the items below.

The menu includes Lemon Pepper Chicken, Cake, Fruit, Sushi, Lobster, and Coconut Shrimp. From the sounds of it everyone should have a great time. However, I can’t help but secretly hope for a catfight as they always make my job more interesting.

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The whiny, naggy, and ugly heiress of the Hilton clan was recently in a scuffle with Hallmark Cards. She decided to file a lawsuit claiming that Hallmark used her image to sell cards and that they need to pay her. The card depicts Paris with her head on a cartoon body, working as a waitress. Surprisingly enough, the card is the most flattering image of this overstuffed windbag that I’ve ever seen.

Hallmark has laughed off her suit stating the obvious when it comes to Hilton. They have responded by saying:

“Hilton has become a household name, based in large part on her efforts to draw attention to herself. Having done so, she has subjected herself to public scrutiny and the parodist’s pen. The First Amendment does not allow her to respond by welcoming the fawning and flattering, but silencing the critical and comical.”

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Paris Hilton arrived in a porn store in Toronto the other day. She was dressed in a scary skeleton costume, but the workers knew it was her by the nasty voice and the stench. If you’re wondering why she’s there it was because she was attempting to rescue the souls of the downtrodden. She also wanted to offer any possible Rwandans that might be there, a candy bar.

No, actually she was there because she saw her picture in the window advertising her famous porn movie. She was seriously pissed off, too. Who could blame her? It really is an injustice to even ask someone to pay to see her naked when you can do it for free all over the Internet. The fu*king nerve of those people!

In the video below, a news source took the audio from the store that is currently in a bidding war over their store security tape, which has Hilton all over it. The audio has been placed in a transcript below in case you don’t want to hear her nappy voice.

“You guys can’t use my image in a porn store. I’m going to call my lawyer and sue the (expletive) out of this place.”

After tearing down the stores posters, she says:
“I really want them down because they’re mean and this is not right. I’m really serious, this is disgusting. And I want the other ones too or I’m calling the (expletive) cops.”

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Paris Hilton thinks she would be perfect for the film adaptation of Dallas. Even though more stars than you could count have ran away screaming from this film, Paris is flailing her arms and begging to be noticed. However, even this director and producers have more taste than to allow Paris on for an audition, even if there is no one left.

Currently the only star that is staying on this sinking ship is John Travolta, who is set to play JR Ewing. Hollywood Backwash is reporting that Paris wants to play Lucy Ewing. The problem is Katie Cassidy (Supernatural, Click) is signed on for the role, according to IMDB.

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“Hi Mr. Rwandan, are you hungry? Me, too. Please ignore me while I pull out this Twix and eat it in front of you. If you want to get in that line over there, I am sure someone more qualified than me will feed and water you. It’s time for me to pose for Hershey!”

While it’s true that she hasn’t said the above statement yet, it’s possible that it’s only because she hasn’t been to Rwanda yet. She’s going though. If we are lucky her luggage and body will get lost on the trip and the world with Paris as we know it will become a better place, because she will be gone.

Newsweek did a story on Paris and all the good the…Hilton (as I now refuse to call her anything that resembles a celebrity) is planning to do for the world thanks to her popularity.

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Considering anyone normal would only want to be Paris for Halloween now is your chance. A website, DressupAmerica.com is selling Paris Hilton costumes and they are smoking hot. The best thing of all is that these costumes are the real deal. As you can see from the picture they offer you the best of Paris wear from the comforting memories of her jailbird collection.

The costume is not only affordable it comes with a long blonde wig. The sad thing is that the wig isn’t al high quality one, so your head might really make you look like you’re Britney Spears. Either way, you will be hot this Halloween whether you are Britney or Paris. You will be looking self-absorbed and ready for parole in no time.

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Rumors have been running rampant that Nicole Richie and Joel Madden will be getting hitched before their baby is born. However, Us Magazine has sources that are saying just the opposite. Apparently the October 13 rumor is false or else they want people to believe that so no one bothers the couple on their wedding day. Either way, sources are saying that there will not be a wedding until after a baby is born this winter.

It’s hard to imagine that the wedding will be on the 13 anyway, because Good Charlotte will be on tour at that time, and it’s really hard to have a tour without the lead singer.

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David Letterman was never my favorite talk show host, though I have to say he is now my absolute favorite host. Of all the interviews that Paris had, Letterman is the only one that has outright mocked her and treated her like the joke that she is.

Surprisingly enough, as he mocked her and the audience laughed at her, she did her best to maintain face. I bet she’s wishing that she went on Larry King again. Needless to say,. she hates Letterman and will not be returning according to reports.

Here is the video for those who missed it.

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Dear Jesus, what have we done? Chris Crocker (Whiny Britney Fan from You Tube) gets a TV Deal [Gawker]

Oscar is a Cross Dresser [Pop Crunch]

DListed Thinks Mario Took the Oscar Pics [DListed]

Nicole and Joel will Wait for Marriage [Fametastic]

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Recently there were rumors that had Eastern European orphans hiding under their covers shaking with fear. The main rumor was that Paris Hilton was planning to adopt four blonde children, who would become models and look just like her. God help us all!

Well, you can all rest easy because the little do-gooder wants no part of adoption according to what she told People Magazine.

When asked about the story, Paris responded simply, “That’s retarded. No, I’m not.” She then mentioned that she would rather have her own children.

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When you think Paris Hilton, so many things come to mind. You might think DUI, Pornography, or Non-Talented. Other people might think Jail Sentence or Bible Lover. Animal lover is not one of the things that comes to mind. However, Paris told Elle that she is such an animal lover that you wouldn’t believe how much of one she is!

Paris says, “My animals make me really happy.” When speaking about how many animals she has, the socialite says, “eleven dogs, three cats, three ferrets, two rabbits, and two monkeys.” Many of these animals are allowed to run free around her home according to Hilton.

She tells Elle that the monkeys and ferrets are kept at her ranch but, “the dogs and cats and bunnies run around my house. I have this guy, Eric, who’s like a zookeeper, and he’s with them all the time. He loves them, and I love them, too. But since I work a lot I’m not always home.”

In addition to the well known Chihuahuas, Tinkerbell and Bambi, Hilton owns a Rottweiler named Tyson and eight other dogs. In 2005, Hilton got in some trouble with animal authorities.

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Well we all know that most everyone in the blogosphere was not impressed by Britney’s magical comeback. However, what did the stars have to say? Some of them were nice, some were honest, and some lied (or were watching some other show). Here are some of the comments Brit received last night from fellow musicians.

Kanye said “I have no words.” I have to admit, this was one of the nicest things that he could have ever said about this performance. I mean, he could have went into the “Why me?! I would have been better than her!” However, he answered the question as truthfully as possible.

Common took the honest approach saying, “It felt like her heart wasn’t in it. It didn’t feel like she was really goin’ for it. It just felt like she was there, man. There’s so much talk about her personal life, you wanna see her come out on top. She eventually still can. But that performance, I don’t think it was what we were lookin’ for … to light it up.”

That performance wouldn’t even have lit something up if the crowd got mad and set her on fire!

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