Entries Tagged 'Douche Bags' ↓

Early in Halle Berry’s Hollywood career she was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. Now, she is telling people that thanks to a healthy lifestyle and good diet she has reversed those symptoms and can now be reclassified as a type 2 diabetic. There is one only problem with her nonsensical statements. As the pancreas is technically destroyed in a type 1 diabetic and they are unable to produce insulin, the process cannot be reversed through diet and exercise. Medically speaking, at this point, it cannot be reversed at all.

However, she is claiming the impossible and pissing off plenty of experts along the way. Experts are saying that she has confused several other diabetics by making these unfounded, illogical claims.

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Of all of the arrests that have come through in the past year this has got to be the stupidest. It’s certainly not the most damaging, harmful, or violent. It’s just plain stupid. Shia LaBeouf best known for his blockbuster hit, Transformers, was arrested at 2:30 AM Sunday morning at Walgreens on Michigan Avenue in Chicago.

LaBeouf was arrested because he refused to leave the store. Apparently, homeboy was drunk and a guard asked him to leave because of his drunkenness. Due to the fact that he wouldn’t leave the guard held him and called the cops.

The police said that LaBeouf was “very courteous and polite.” Bond was posted for him before 7 AM this morning. The charge was a misdemeanor for criminal trespassing. He is due in court on November 28.

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Every now and then a nobody marries a somebody. This usually doesn’t matter too much until the nobody and the somebody get divorced and the nobody becomes an even bigger whiny snatch monkey who cannot handle the lack of attention that they are getting. When this happens, the person begins spouting shit louder than the Bush Administration when talking about Iraq. Today’s nobody is Heather Mills.

Unfortunately, Mills has not realized that nobody could care less about her or who she thinks she is or what’s supposedly happening to her. She claims she didn’t want any money, yet word is that she stands to gain like $100 million from the divorce. I don’t want any money either. I wonder if Paul could just spare like $1 million for me.

Her stories have changed like Britney’s wigs, but this one says that Stella McCartney is to blame for the divorce that occurred. “Every single week Stella tried to break up our marriage,” the possibly mentally ill Mills said. “She was so jealous. Stella wasn’t interested in her dad’s happiness. I can’t protect her any longer. She’s done some evil, evil things.”

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Thanks to the racist comments made on tape by Dog (Duane Chapman), A&E has decided to cancel his show as they apparently no longer wish to be affiliated with him. This comes as a tiny bit of a shock, as the show is actually one of the highest rated shows on the A&E network.

A Spokesperson for A&E issued the following statement to Honolulu’s Star Bulletin:
“In evaluating the circumstances of the last few days, A&E has decided to take Dog The Bounty Hunter’ off the network’s schedule for the foreseeable future. We hope that Mr. Chapman continues the healing process that he has begun.”

It’s a shock how quick this all came about. The tape was released and in less than two or three days Dog went from Bounty Hunter fame to having his show canceled and being labeled a racist. On the brighter side of things, if he didn’t save any of his money, he’d fit right in at any trailer park in the South.

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It was bound to happen sooner or later. Thanks to a high profile custody case, the financial worth and spending habits of both Britney Spears and her ex-husband Kevin (FedEx) Federline have been revealed. Shockingly enough, the bitch blows money like men snort lines off her chest – quickly.

Documents are stating that Britney earns close to $9 Million a year. Meanwhile, in 2006 Kevin earned about $500,000, $3,300 was from his huge hit, Popozao. Of this half a million though, Federline paid much of it out and ended up with very little. Needless to say he has been receiving $20,000 in spousal support which is about to run out. When it comes to the kids, Federline is given $15,000 in support each month from Mama Spears. This isn’t a big loss though, I mean, she spends more on clothes each month than that.

You’d think with all the cash she spends she’d buy a decent weave or something that actually flatters her love handles. I’m serious, Britney needs a new stylist, ya’ll.

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Britney Spears has developed a new way to tell men how she feels. She doesn’t mess around with I Love You’s or blow jobs anymore. Well, maybe sometimes but not when trying to tell men how she really feels. Nowadays she just gives them something they will be sure to never forget. She runs over their foot.

That’s right police officer Stanley Mosk, Britney so loves you dude! You should feel honored. This makes Stanley the second guy in a month or so who got a personalized foot rub from Spears. It’s no wonder that she is being investigated by the cops and by the way, didn’t she just get her license? That sure doesn’t look good Brit!

The LA County Sheriff’s Department has filed a collision complaint against Britney after the accident with Mosk as she was exiting the Court house after her custody hearing last Friday. According to the latest news, Mosk is using crutches and can only perform light duty.

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Paris Hilton arrived in a porn store in Toronto the other day. She was dressed in a scary skeleton costume, but the workers knew it was her by the nasty voice and the stench. If you’re wondering why she’s there it was because she was attempting to rescue the souls of the downtrodden. She also wanted to offer any possible Rwandans that might be there, a candy bar.

No, actually she was there because she saw her picture in the window advertising her famous porn movie. She was seriously pissed off, too. Who could blame her? It really is an injustice to even ask someone to pay to see her naked when you can do it for free all over the Internet. The fu*king nerve of those people!

In the video below, a news source took the audio from the store that is currently in a bidding war over their store security tape, which has Hilton all over it. The audio has been placed in a transcript below in case you don’t want to hear her nappy voice.

“You guys can’t use my image in a porn store. I’m going to call my lawyer and sue the (expletive) out of this place.”

After tearing down the stores posters, she says:
“I really want them down because they’re mean and this is not right. I’m really serious, this is disgusting. And I want the other ones too or I’m calling the (expletive) cops.”

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“Eat it, lick it, snort it, f*%k it!”

This is what Britney told an Extra reporter as she made her way through the hallway and towards the courtroom for her latest child custody hearing. Apparently, Brit had a hard time with her court session and was seen going into and leaving the bathroom at least three times by TMZ.

Some say it was the parenting coach and her negative report that made her have these little fits. Others feel it was the fact that the judge has not been able to make a decision in her favor. However, Federline’s attorney did say that the kids would each spend one night with each parent this weekend. It is being speculated that a decision will be made on Tuesday, if not Monday.

I just can’t get over what a great message this is. It’s also what got her into trouble. Just think about it. Let’s dissect all of Britney’s problems.

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Amy Winehouse is finally getting the fact that her behavior is a little bit destructive. Recently, when speaking with a German magazine, Stern, she spoke of her overdose, saying, “I really thought I was on the way out. My husband Blake saved my life, brought me into the hospital. Often I don’t know what I do. Then the next day the memory returns. Blake told me later what had happened and then I was engulfed in shame.”

When she spoke of getting out of the hospital she commented on how she recently saw pictures and did not even recognize herself.

She went on to speak of her childhood:

“Since I was 16, I’ve felt a black cloud hangs over me. I have taken pills for depression but they slowed me down. I believe there are lots of people who have these mood changes.”

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According to fellow blogger Jonathan Jaxson, Pamela Anderson does everything but the kitchen sink. His sources are saying that Pam does cocaine for weeks and that they haven’t seen her sober in years. Anybody with semi-able eye sight can see that the bitch is messed up. I mean, her taste in men is off and she acts more screwed up than Anna Nicole ever did….well maybe not that screwed up, but definitely close.

JJ Says:

“She is out of control,” the friend says. “She knows she is going to die soon, so she continues to party out of control thinking nothing of it. Never does she mention her kids. Her marriage to Rick Solomon, nicknamed by Pam and friends as “Scum,” was something to full-fill her immediate emotional needs. We have all known one another for years and nothing ever sparked between them until recently!”

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The Malibu wildfires are burning up anything in the path of the flames. Due to the huge amount of celebrities that live in the Malibu area, many stars are being evacuated and some are dealing with the loss of their homes and property if the flames attack their estate.

Of those that have been evacuated the list includes Jennifer Aniston, Mel Gibson, Susanne Summers, Sean Penn, and Kelsey Grammer. Sean Penn’s trailer was scorched by the searing fires. Meanwhile, Britney Spears who paid $9 million to rent a home for six months in Malibu is not even aware of how her house is doing. She recently said, “I don’t think it touched my house. I’m real scared.”

I can see why she would be scared. If she had to replace everything she lost in a fire, she might have to stop drinking Starbucks and get a real job. You know, like one she’s qualified for. “Hi Ya’ll…My name’s Britney would ya’ll like that frapauccino blended with coffee or crème?”

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Rule number one: If you get in trouble for having a bad temper and some anger management problems then when you go to prison you should pretend like these problems don’t exist. This is especially true if you want to get out for good behavior.

However, no one sent Riker’s inmate, Foxy Brown this memo. Apparently Foxy has had to be moved from general population and into her own, segregated cell due to a few problems that she has had while in lockup.

She was tossed into isolation on October 16 and will be there for at least 76 days. Apparently the thing that caused Foxy’s trip to the private cell was a shoving match with an inmate. After that Foxy became verbally abusive to one of the officers and she has refused to take any drug tests.

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Britney really needs some better people around her. Every day there is new stupid news about something dumb her or Camp Britney (whoever they are this week) has done. You would think she would hire someone that has a bigger brain than her. I mean when a person is such an idiot you make Bullwinkle seem like Einstein, you would think that she’d want all the help she could get. Oh well Forrest, I guess stupid is as stupid does.

It’s natural that Spears would want to put the whole “Gimme More” VMA thing behind her considering how bad it was. However, in the midst of ignoring the performance, someone forgot to pay the backup dancers. Sure, some of them got some of their pay, but none of them seemed to get all of it.

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Ever since the crack princess cleaned up her act, her old fans have been waiting for that first performance. Fans want to know if she still has what it takes, though it’s likely something good was destroyed when she was on the junk. Houston apparently is not in any rush to get behind the mic to belt out any tunes.

She tricked an entire crowd of her fans last week according to Page Six. Houston arrived on stage at the Prince’s Trust event in London. People were expecting her to sing, but that wasn’t in the cards.

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